What is your [David's] phone number?
Before actually neglecting to actually answer the question, the editor would like to point out the David Franklin FAQ is not intended to be used as a dating service or singles club. Rather than just going and giving David's personal home phone number, the editor will instead list several interesting characteristics of the phone number that are sufficient to uniquely identify it.
If I printed up and framed some of your [David's] famous ASCII art, would you [David] sign it for me?
David is of course flattered that you refer to his modest collection of ASCII Art as "famous". The Gallery is certainly is one of the diamonds in the treasure trove that is David's web site. Unfortunately, due to various international trade regulations and the many assorted product endorsement deals he is involved with at the moment, David cannot fulfill your request.
Is there any truth to the rumor that David's hair is the unit of currency in the new European global economy?
Over the past several months there has been much speculation as to what the standard for the unit of currency in the new European global economy will be. After much research into what the ideal growth rate for the European currency base would be over the next forty years, the powers that be discovered that this rate exactly matched the projected growth rate of David's hair! In return for the great honor of providing the monetary standard for the EU, David has turned down an enticing endorsement offer from Rogain and has agreed to donate his scalp to the EU after his death (assuming that the EU lasts that long.)
Why doesn't David answer any of Josh's questions?