The Official David Franklin FAQ: Page 7


Question:

If a turtle were to lose his shell would he be homeless or just naked? And would his friends laugh?

Answer:

This reminds David of a story: "The tortoise and the hairless rabbit."

Ahem. There was once a tortoise and a hairless rabbit and they both liked the same lady bug. So, they decided to have a race to decide who could court her. So, they set off on their race early one morning and, of course, the tortoise was slow and the rabbit was fast. So, the tortoise said: "It's this flubbajig shell that's holding me back." (The tortoise was not particularly proficient at swearing.) So, the tortoise threw off the shell that hindered and took off after the rabbit, gaining rapidly. So rapidly in fact that he did not hear the loud "crack!" as his shell was crushed by the road paving crew behind him!

So, the tortoise pulled even with the rabbit and even began to pull away. So, the rabbit flagged a passing police officer and demanded that he cite the tortoise for indecent exposure. So, the police officer did, but could not help but notice that the rabbit was also quite naked. So, the officer hand-cuffed them together and led them back to the police station. So funny was the sight of a naked tortoise hand-cuffed to a hairless rabbit that all the people in the town laughed and laughed as they passed, even the lady bug. So, the moral of the story is: "The early bird gets the worm."

David likes stories.


Question:

Does water really swirl counter-clockwise when a toilet is flushed in Australia?

Answer:

When you flush a toilet in Australia you should expect the water to swirl clockwise. The only exception is to be found in the American embassy. (Whistling: "Oo-oh say can you see...")


Question:

Is David the only person who submits questions to this thing?

Answer:

No. People other than David submit questions to this thing.

Although many readers may suspect that this question is an impassioned plea for help (sent by David himself along with all the other questions), they are mistaken. If only they knew just how wrong they are!!!


Question:

Will there ever be another you [David] ?

Answer:

David responds: "Don't hold your breath." However, David also notes that he is not a trained medical professional and really is not qualified to give medical advice.

[Insert standard disclaimer here.]


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