Why did David choose a background for his FAQ page that makes it so hard to read the questions?
It is questions like this that makes David wonder about the kinds of people that are users of his FAQ. Clearly, this submitter's criticalness is exceeded only by his whinyness. However, David is always looking for ways to meet the needs of the FAQ's patrons and, as a result, has designed a new background for the FAQ that should greatly improve readability. Look here for an example of how it will be used.
If Dave were to meet another David Franklin, would he feel comfortable enough to call him Dave or would he feel the uncontrollable urge to yell imposter?
Interestingly enough, this is not a hypothetical situation: in David's freshman year (at the University of Oregon) there was another David Franklin living on the same dormitory floor. David referred to him as "Dave" up until the unfortunate exploding washing machine incident that David was in no way involved with. One time, in the cafeteria, it was noticed that the table occupants were, in order: Dave, Kim, Dave, Jim, Dave Kim, Dave and Kim.
I have forgotten my question. Can David still answer it for me?
Yes, but there will be an additional charge.
Which do you [David] really prefer, steamrollers or forklifts?
Note from the editor: "Steamroller" is, of course, the popular
camping game, where sleepingbag-clad warriors roll about,
attempting to flatten their opponents. "Forklift" on the other
hand, is a much less popular camping game, that I honestly don't
want to think too deeply about.
David prefers forklift.